Monday, February 26, 2007

Charm Attack from Leak City

Since we haven't seen any Oscar-worthy movie except BABEL, and missed the red-carpet extravaganza, let's recap a little. Do that superficial thing that nobody wants to do...And yes, we're speaking of Anna Nicole Smith's baby's real father.

As we mentioned, he left in a hurry a few days ago. Of course, and being that everybody knows how much he hates to travel coach, the whole thing started all kinds of rumors. Evil rumors.

Some, less brainy, stated that his flight from the City had something to do with a certain 'deliberation' at some court involving some former WH blabber mouth, and a blond from the Agency.

Others, such as us-selves, defended his right to protect his holy matrimony from liberal attacks that accused him of certain 'sensual extra official' action on the side. With a certain blond.

So, obviously, he skipped town to advance H.E Bush's agenda. Cheney is Bush's secret weapon of mass-seduction.

Once safe and sound on the other side of the planet, Cheney batted his eye-lashes at China, insulting and somewhat threatening them for hitting a defunct weather satellite with a missile. Then, he left Australia on his 'unmarked' airplane (for security reasons) stopping briefly at Singapore and there dissing their government by spreading the rumor that he "had electrical problems" (in short, a little boy's room pause), to arrive in Pakistan, and then, threatening them of not doing their best in fighting the turban wearing shepherds, and was to sleepy to meet Karzai in Afghanistan ("snow day") leaving it for tomorrow. Or maybe next week. It all depends on unscheduled activities such as "mistrial"/"DNA tests". Whatever comes first.

Pure charm.

And clearly, the White House knows how to warm them up. How to bring them into the coalition of willing. And who would do a better job than Cheney? He got Anna. Now it's just a matter of time before he impregnates the World (sans madame Pelosi though, 'cause she's already an unpatriotic 'arab-lover' but we knew that also...).

So, querido Mundo, ya'betterwatchout! Cheney is on the surge!

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