Betty knows, she really knows, that astrology is dumb. BUT! Allow her to argue that a little reading about your birth sign does help to put things (specifically, your entire life) into a helpful and motivational framework, and makes you feel little (in a good way)in relation to the planets, this planet, and your fellow humans. Betty thinks astrology can be one of the only self-centric things that is actually intended to make you a better person and to help you to make good choices and aim to maximize your potential. It's not unlike corporate personality tests in this respect, except that the kind of "potential" it seeks to bring out in you does not only pertain to work and business.
It's likely that most newspaper astrology just offers self-evident good advice ("spend time with a loved one tonight", "watch your wallet", "show kindness to someone in need", "make sure your boundaries are clear") without any relation whatsoever to the orbit of the stars and moons. Betty thinks she could do a good job cranking these out, in fact ("don't pollute!" "watch that carbon footprint carefully this month, temptation may lead you astray"). If you know anyone who is offering this as a job, please let us know.
STILL, she does think that even if your birth sign doesn't describe you to a T (and Betty's and Bimbo's DO, as do many other peoples' that we know), there IS at least one sign that captures you. We're not all infinite in our qualities, you know! Like relishing a sonnet, cozying up with an astrological sign can show you the countless directions and possibilities that lie within your limits. And by telling you what's good and bad in your tendencies, you can better know yourself and how you relate to others, and all for just the click of a mouse button or two.