Oscar Wild Play: Part Two

Betty and Bimbo consider some other categories.

Best Director

Bimbo: I heard Paul Greengrass did a great job with United 93. But if he did such a great job, why did it only get one nomination? Being really depressing is not a reason NOT to be nominated for Best Picture. Also, being depressing in an abstract way is not a reason TO be nominated, as happened with Babel. I mean, I wonder who Academy voters feel a greater sympathy for and identify with: the people on a 9/11 flight, or a Japanese mute nymphomaniac? Scorsese will win this year.

Betty: I really don’t care about directing. Does the average person understand the distinction between directing and editing and cinematography and a good script? I can’t tell the difference.

Best Actor

Bimbo: First off, let’s get this right out of the way: Forrest Whitaker is going to win. I didn’t see his movie, so that’s cool with me. I’d like to see it.

Betty: You speak for yourself.

Bimbo:I only saw one performance out of all of the nominees, but it was one of the greatest performances ever – Ryan Gosling in Half Nelson. His character reminded me of someone I could have gone to school with, yet he was totally also original. That movie should have been nominated for Best Picture.

Betty: I didn't see any of these films. I did see the PREVIEW for Blood Diamond, and that accent was a shame.

Bimbo: One more thing: Please can Will Smith not win? If Will Smith wins for The Pursuit of Happyness, please can we give an honorary Oscar to Ronald Reagan for trickle-down economics?

Best Actress

Bimbo: This is the only category where they’re all awesome and they should all win. That said, Penelope Cruz should win. When she acts in Spanish, she’s amazing. It’s hard to be that beautiful and act that unselfconscious and be that good an actor. She's the best looking best actress ever.

Betty: Yes, she rocks my shit in Volver. She’s frumpy and trashy and no nonsense. I love how she’s always wearing so much makeup and the other characters make comments about her breasts sticking out. Helen Mirren will win, so good for her. Just as Bimbo said that The Queen should have been in the nonexistent made-for-TV category, I think they should string together all the episodes of Prime Suspect and give Helen Mirren an oscar for that, because that's a great movie. Finally, Meryl Streep was awesome, but damned if that wasn’t a supporting role.