Friday, November 24, 2006

Letter From the Front Lines of Laziness

Betty is home for the holidays, and blissed out by doing the devil's work. As she presses pause in the middle of Scorsese's "My Voyage to Italy" and prepares to order pizza, she reflects that, the day after Thanksgiving, you've really got to want it if you plan to get anything done. To offer a short visual log of the day: pillows and rented movies are everywhere piled high, the leftover chocolate cheesecake can't get out of the fridge fast enough, and the dog, the cute Moo, and the Little Hun can't receive enough deep-tissue snuggles that precede naps.

This afternoon, Betty worked up some initiative and tried to go to a store not far from Idleness Central. But alas! Not far from home, she actually fell down off a non-moving curbside and ripped a new hole in the knee of her bluejeans. Scientific Conclusion: Moving is dangerous!

Maybe something about the materialistic glut of this whole holidaze "season" makes Betty want to hide. Maybe it was something in last night's roasted veggies and mash. But between the snacking and the TV treatments that leave her eyes glazed, Betty now finds herself in a restless state. She'll report back after she finishes her next two "assignments" for the weekend - "The Fortune Cookie" and "The Apartment," and hopefully pools some inspiration from her jittery old pals, Jack Lemmon and Billy Wilder.
Now, the Friday crossword faintly calls.

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