Thursday, November 30, 2006

Vag of Honor

As you've all likely seen, our fav pop princess, Britney Spears, recently flashed her rather bare nether-region to one lucky paparazzi. She later did it again.

It seems the time has come to pay the piper. While Brit has been famous for a while now, we are finally starting to see the dividends of the contract that she signed with us all those years ago. That's right, as soon as you start to court the attention of the press--to become a celeb, really (especially such a sexualized one)--you sign on as a willing target of the media's basest impulses. And the degree to which you seek attention is proportional to what the hungry media wants from you. Brit only stoked the fire for all those years playing the virgin, making us lick our lips for some kind of public sacrifice of her ever-so-protected maidenhead. While admission of sex with Justin and knowledge that she's done it with her hubby are one thing, we've not, until now, got really explicit proof that the virgin's days are done. Ladies and germs, may I present the bloody sheet. And as an added wrinkle of titillation it seems that our Ms Spears is no stranger to her Lady Gillette.

But, perhaps this is a cunning, if unwitting, gambit for relevance. The most recent album didn't perform like the last several, the marriage is in shambles and she's become the national symbol for trashy consumption. Unlike celebs whose last gasp at fame comes in a Playboy spread (Tia Carrere and Tiffany come to mind as recent members of that illustrious club. So does Terri Polo, the wife from Meet the Parents. Really, if this is the only way you can manage to upstage Blythe Danner you'd better pack it in), maybe Brit is following old Madonna and giving the pubic public what they want before the slide to obsolescence. Maybe it will even stave it off for a while. It worked for Drew Barrymore too, though neither of them ever claimed to be pure and chaste.

In any case, a momentarily sated public thanks you Britney, for holding up your end of the deal. When we decide that we want some manner of Spears-Colin Farrell sex tape or pics of you picking up your dog's feces whilst flashing a thong we'll give you a call. In the mean time, let's see if we can't get a few pics of Jessica Simpson's rack. She's not playing along.

1 comment:

Betty & Bimbo said...

Fascinating, Speed. I would refer everyone who's interested in these issues here:

Do you think Britney is rebelling against her former, tightly managed and manipulated, public image? Was her skirt flying up an accident? Was it a message to Kevin or to her fans? Is the dream over?