Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Superman Never Needed Juice

First things first, is anyone else as pumped as I am about the new Pirates of the Carribean film? Hmm.....should Superman even admit to getting pumped about a Disney film, more importantly?

Whats the deal with all these athletes taking juice. But more importantly, why do all of them say they took the juice, and then say they didn't take the juice, and then say maybe they took the juice, but you can't prove anything.

I really appreciate this Floyd Landis. His explanation is simple, the testing tubes were foul. Wait, check that, his body actually produced the hormones. Wait, that was what his attorney wanted him to say, it turns out this is not humanly possible in this case. Don't judge him, just because he was in the room when his manager was threatening a former teammate over being abused sexually as a child. Smart money is on Floyd invoking the "if the tight stretchy pants don't fit, then you must acquit" defense at some point in the near future. I mean if he had just waited a few days, he could have hired Jason Giambi to do his PR. Everyone in the cycling community should apologize and we can all move forward. This is exactly why Superman sticks to the treadmill at the gym, and does not hit the bike.

Speaking of the treadmill. What is the treadmill etiquette, if you are listening to your ipod and an attractive member of the opposite sex occupies the treadmill next to you. Are you suppose to say hi, or give them a head nod, or just keep looking straight ahead and pretend that you don't see them. I mean what do you do, when they look over for a period and so then you have to look over at them, but by that time they are looking straight ahead again, and then you feel just weird for the rest of the run. Worse, you are now obligated to run longer than the person, just to avoid any future awkwardness and Superman's office body is not conducive to accomplishing such feats.

Sorry, here is my next sport point. The French Open starts next week and Chilean Gonzo is going for his first major title. A feat not accomplished by his Chilean predecessor Marcelo Rios. Marcelo in the spirit of Giambi/Landis PR is most famous for calling a celebrated female tennis player a "fat cow" in the lunch line. I think he defended himself on the fact that there were language differences and that the lunch line was moving very slowly. Gonzo, on the other hand, is a great person and hopefully he will break through at Roland Garros. Unfortunately, teenage wonder, Rafael Nadal primarily stands in the way of Gonzo taking the title. Nadal just had his 8o odd match win streak on clay snapped. Nadal is a Spanish teenager that resembles Mr. T. He is roughly fifty times fitter than everyone twice his age and has guns that would make the Hulk blush. I am not conjecting that Nadal is on steroids. I am just not sold yet, on the notion that bionic people walk among us. Here is a completely useless point. The french never describe people as being good at tennis. They always say the person plays very fast. I have never understood this, it is "mind bottling", they are curious people.

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