Sunday, April 22, 2007

Reflections on graying early

"Going gray is like ejaculation. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." -Anderson Cooper

A few years ago, I noticed one or two gray wisps in my head of thick dark brown hair. Of course, everyone is liable to a few gray hairs--even young children. So I put it out of my mind. But then, a few weeks ago I was sitting with the high school freshman I tutor, and she suddenly blurted out, "You're going gray!" She was right. I have enough gray hairs now to safely say it: I've reached the graying tipping point.

The first thing MT said to me when I told her was that she had noticed it long ago. Examining my hair more closely, she couldn't help saying, "But it's moving faster than I thought!" before quickly adding, "but at least you aren't balding." Yes, at least I'm not balding. But nevertheless, like the bald man, the gray haired man has, in a very real sense, one foot in the grave. Graying/balding is, after all, part of the bodily decay one associates with the end. Like shrinking, and liver spots, there's no going back from a gray head of hair.

Nor does it cheer me up that Anderson Cooper is prematurely gray. What, you don't think Anderson is hot? Indeed, Anderson is quite attractive, but I have no problem admitting that, no matter how gray I get, I'll never be an Anderson Cooper. It's all well and good to gray if you have those Vanderbilt/aristocratic features, but what about me? What is this big-nosed, jew-face to do?

I don't know. But the short term answer is: stop using my dandruff shampoo, so no one will be able to tell if I'm going gray, or just have really bad hygiene.

4 comments:

venus infers said...

anderson cooper-alert! hot! hot! HOT!!!!

Superman said...

Premature Gray Hair is In. Superman and George Clooney what more proof do you need sir?

In England, it is spelled grey.

betty said...

and Holden Caulfield!

Nancy D., Girl Detective said...

I think this calls for a photo...NOT of Anderson Cooper.