Thursday, November 29, 2007

a very dry martini

V has recently learned that D-county not only is plagued by incompetent DAs and shady lax players, but also is on the verge of drying up.

V was originally pleased with all this talk of La Niña-- V thought that it was all about female empowerment. Of course not, quite the contrary. Why does La Niña have to be about passively waiting for things to dry up?? Why does the destructive transitive verb have to be reserved for the boys?

Anyways, V is in water-saving mode now.
It really can't be that difficult! After all, what do we need water for, when we have other transparent and liquid stuff, such as vodka and gin and vermouth?

We can always wash up in champagne!

And who needs to shower anyways when they're intoxicated?

Venus infers the idea will not be too popular, especially with the AA population. And it is true that it is mildly uncouth not to have water on the dining table. How do we switch from whites to reds if so?

And anyways, in this day and age, Venus infers a drought is not at all what the media purports it to be.
There's a pretty obvious solution, and Venus has already talked with the Mayor about this.

Drinking water shall be imported from Fijian aquifers.

And the plants irrigated with our divine pee.


Nancy D., Girl Detective said...

Oh yes, Fijian aquifers are the wave of the future. I interviewed a rep from Fiji Water about six months ago and asked her if there was a chance the aquifers could ever run dry.

"No," she said.

So there you have it! They truly are the answer to drought. Plus, the water has "soft mouth feel."

Betty & Bimbo said...

How about we resurrect "Crystal Pepsi"?

I'll bet it would make your skin feel all sparkley!

Montserrat Nicolás said...

mmmmm...a very, VERY dry martini...mmmm...3 olives...up.

funny to think that suddenly water is soooo important to peeps.

75% of our body (well, some have acid in their streams, but hey, let's not judge the white house!) is h2o.

and yet, problems in bolivia and somalia and sudan and etc. are all very strange.

I can just see a new civil war in the south.

best and venus, always a pleasure to read


venus infers said...

oh dear, civil war! how uncivil it would indeed all be. but with sparkly skin, soft mouth feel and mint juleps we should be able to keep up just fine.

and in any case, my belle gowns have always been sent to the dry cleaners. --

boundless love from the v.

venus infers said...
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