Reflections on graying early

"Going gray is like ejaculation. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." -Anderson Cooper

A few years ago, I noticed one or two gray wisps in my head of thick dark brown hair. Of course, everyone is liable to a few gray hairs--even young children. So I put it out of my mind. But then, a few weeks ago I was sitting with the high school freshman I tutor, and she suddenly blurted out, "You're going gray!" She was right. I have enough gray hairs now to safely say it: I've reached the graying tipping point.

The first thing MT said to me when I told her was that she had noticed it long ago. Examining my hair more closely, she couldn't help saying, "But it's moving faster than I thought!" before quickly adding, "but at least you aren't balding." Yes, at least I'm not balding. But nevertheless, like the bald man, the gray haired man has, in a very real sense, one foot in the grave. Graying/balding is, after all, part of the bodily decay one associates with the end. Like shrinking, and liver spots, there's no going back from a gray head of hair.

Nor does it cheer me up that Anderson Cooper is prematurely gray. What, you don't think Anderson is hot? Indeed, Anderson is quite attractive, but I have no problem admitting that, no matter how gray I get, I'll never be an Anderson Cooper. It's all well and good to gray if you have those Vanderbilt/aristocratic features, but what about me? What is this big-nosed, jew-face to do?

I don't know. But the short term answer is: stop using my dandruff shampoo, so no one will be able to tell if I'm going gray, or just have really bad hygiene.